Don't Let Life Hold You Back.

It's been a while since my last post. There has been a lot going on in my life that has put a strong hindrance on my ability to focus on my artwork, and website. As most of you know I don't make a living off of my work, one day I would like to, but for now it is a fun hobby. I enjoy all the feedback, the chance to share lessons with you all, and of course any advice I can give.

I feel lately that I needed some advice and help, and I wasn't getting that in return. I reached out, and got nothing. I'll admit part of me was really bitter and spiteful. I ran scenarios in my head wondering how convicted killers could get donations in the thousands for the best lawyers, or how people come together to build a brand new home for someone that already has a nice trailer home, because they felt it was too small for them. I didn't understand and I was going down a really dark road in my head. I think the nail in the coffin was when I asked a company I have been supporting all this time with free lessons, and promoting their products with my artwork completely blew me off. All the plans we made in the beginning for a duel artist pencil sponsorship and advertisement went right out of the window after they got what they wanted. A free art lesson from an artist that used their pencils because it was all he could afford. It's not the first time I have been burned by the big corporations either, but that is many other stories, and I don't want to be that guy anymore. I am done reliving failures, or believing I have have failed due to my situation.

Regardless of where I am in life I have to remember that others are either in the same position I am in, or worse, and I have to remember that they look up to me. I felt recently that I let those people down because I cracked under pressure. I stopped drawing, and I stopped making lessons. I just froze up. Just know I am still here, and I have more work to show. I have more help to give, and I look forward to helping again. I am sorry I was gone for a while, but I am back, and I don't want to let life interfere with my love for art ever again. I may need some help with that.

I just need to know that what I do here, and on the web is worth it. I pour hours into the lessons, and I don't ask for money like other sites or artists do. If it helps you learn a technique that improves your work that is my payment. In time I will eventually make a book, but for now I just like to help out because I know there are artists that cannot afford to pay for lessons. The same for my comic strips. They make me laugh, and I am happy to know that it made someone laugh. And my artwork, I plan on drawing some more again, in fact I set up the paper for a new piece today. It will be a black and white and that is okay with me. I am going to stop placing rules on my artwork, all that did was hold me back, and make me unhappy.

After all of this I am in a better place. Looking back on what I wrote I feel that I needed to get somethings off my chest if I were to continue. I am going to start drawing for me for a while, and I promise to share new lessons. In fact my daughter gave me the idea for the next lesson. She wanted to learn how I draw trees so fast and realistic so look forward to that in the near future. My next piece on the other hand, you'll just have to tune into my Facebook page for updates, and work-in-progress images. What I can't give out all the details right? I didn't go away for good, but I did fall asleep for a bit. Thank you for sticking around and supporting me through it all. I have learned one all powerful lesson in all of this.

Support doesn't always come in the form of a dollar sign. Your kindness, comments, likes, and just all around support for my work. It helps make everything I do worth it, and I cannot wait to do more. I am not going to let life's obstacles hold me back anymore.

Thank you,
Derrick Rathgeber
http://Derrickr.webs.com
http://Facebook.com/DerrickRathgeber
Donations Accepted

Doubt is a Dangerous Thing

As an artist the worst thing you can face is doubt. Doubt is that nagging fear, or voice in the back of your head that tells you you’re not good enough, or you’ll never reach the level of the other artists on the web. It can come at you in ways that will make you want to quit and burn your artwork. I can honestly say I to this day face doubt strait in the face, and sometimes I do want to quit.

I recently got back into drawing again after a very long hiatus. I had a torn tendon in my drawing wrist that was never allowed to recover properly. When I got injured on the job I was given a brace and set right back to work. Over the years I tried to sketch here and there and my work suffered. My hand would shake, I would drop the pencil, my fingers locked up, and sometimes my wrist felt like it was being torn right off. I couldn’t draw anymore and that sent me into a very angry and dark place. The one thing I thought I was good at was taken from me, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. I doubted that I was ever going to draw again.

One day I found myself digging out my old drawings. I kept a box of my work that survived the rain and the move. I did what I normally would do, and that was pull them out of the box, look at them all and them place them back in the box. To me this was a way of looking back at something I couldn’t get back, and believe me I tried. I would draw out some new drawings, and I was upset that they were out of proportions, and very sketchy. I couldn’t get the look I used to anymore let alone what other artists could do. I think my wife saw me, or heard me because a short time later as a gift she got me a nice sketchbook. She only had one rule that I sketch out whatever comes to my head, and do not share it with anybody, just draw for yourself she said. And I think she was on to something.

Over the next year I did just that. I just started drawing small faces or, weapons, characters and random trees. All short small non detailed drawings, but each one got better. It wasn’t until last year in 2012 that I started rebuilding my portfolio. Something in me snapped and just woke up. I grabbed the largest pice of paper and all the colored pencils I had and created A “Bird in Bloom.” Believe it or not this very large 22×28 piece took me three months to complete, but to me it felt like one of the fasted drawings I have ever done. I was enveloped into getting back to where I used to be as an artist, yet somehow by the end of this piece I was better than I ever was. To put it in perspective the last award I won for a piece of my artwork was in 1999. It was now 2013 and I took this one piece of art and entered it into a show against painters and sculptures. Somehow my RoseArt colored pencil strokes won me Best in Show. This was not a cash prize win, but it was enough to convince me that I was on the right track.

I continued making large pieces and smaller pieces, and I think it wasn’t until the great feedback on the Macaw piece that I found that I may be able to have a career in this. I pushed and shared my work online, and joined various art sites to sell my work. I had high hopes that since I couldn’t work and I wasn’t getting paid by the insurance company that this could be my way of providing. When several months go by and nothing sold DOUBT attacked me again. Every time I would open my email and see all the artists who sold their work, or got a great commission, I would definitely get very envious. Here I am thinking I was good enough to win a juried show, and write lessons for RoseArt; and I cannot even sell one piece of art for my family. It hurt. Sometimes it still does I won’t lie. So Doubt hit again, very hard.

You know what brought me back this time? What keeps me going is all of you. I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but you are at home and you chose to read this. Zillions of things on this internet to laugh at and watch and you choose to read the rantings of a beat up colored pencil artist. I appreciate that. When you message me, or write me to congratulate me, or ask me of all people for advice. It pushes me. When I see you struggle in the same ways that I do, and still succeed. I know doubt is a huge waste of time.
Each of us have a story, and in our stories we have a doubt or fear of succeeding. We cannot let this doubt to come into our artwork, because as an artist you know when you erase too much, or overwork the piece it will be ruined. Take a break and draw something you love in a sketch book that you don’t have to share with the world. Do what you love because you love it, and all that doubt will go away.

I have only one more thing to say and this is the most important piece of advice I can give you.
-When you wishing that you had the ability to draw like that great artist you see posting their masterpieces, somewhere there is an artist looking at your masterpieces wishing they could draw like you. Please support and help each other.

Thank you,
Derrick Rathgeber

Visit me at Http://derrickr.artist.cm